


Bodies

by darkspacelord



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Aged-Up Dib (Invader Zim), Body Horror, But its mostly Dib being oblivious, Dib is a clone, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Frenemies Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Irken Dib (Invader Zim), M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, frenemies to lovers, irken membrane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28641060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkspacelord/pseuds/darkspacelord
Summary: Zim and Dib have known each other for eight years and their constant battling each other has become routine now. But soon things start to change when Dib comes to the realization that he's his father's clone. But perhaps that isn't all Dib is, for there is something far more terrifying, something that will make him realize that he's a lot more like Zim than he thought.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 114





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing spooky/graphic happens for this first chapter but this will dive a little bit into horror, just to pre-warn anyone!

Dib was careful not to break anything as he looked through his father’s lab. With his luck he would break some valuable experiment that was supposed to lead to the cure of Fuzzy Pox. But there was always something among his father’s things that could prove very useful in his pursuit of paranormal science, he just had to find it.

Dib continued to digging, examining a piece of equipment every so often. A toaster that made delicious bread? No that won’t do. A screwdriver that could teleport through time? No not that. A slap bracelet that mind controlled the wearer? No definitely not that and perhaps a bit concerning that his dad had designed such a thing.

His endeavors began to feel pointless when Dib realized he looked through everything in the lab and he found nothing. Not a single piece of technology in all of the lab was going to help him. But then Dib noticed a stack of folders laid out on one of the tables in the lab. Dib approached the folders and noticed all of them were labeled with a different experiment.

Dib shrugged, knowing it was going to be all filled with boring ‘real science’. And yet he was a bit curious to see what his dad was up to. It seemed strange that his father had left his folders out when he usually kept them tucked away. It was top secret science stuff after all.

Dib shuffled through all the folders. It was what he expected, experiments on world peace, time travel, a gaming console that warmed your chicken with eleven secret spices and herbs while you played… But then Dib froze when he noticed one folder buried underneath all the others that read “CLONE EXPERIMENT”. Clone experiment? His father wanted to clone himself?

Dib picked up the folder. Why on earth would his father want to clone himself, he wondered. Maybe it was so his clone could carry on the pursuit of real science for him, Dib figured. He felt rather strange about the idea of another version of his father running around. The world was only meant to have one Professor Membrane.

Dib opened up the folder and took a look inside. He flipped through the pages and noticed how they all described each attempt at a clone. But none of the clones were quite right. They weren’t smart enough, they weren’t invested in science enough, their heads were too small.

Dib flipped to one page and began to read, “I wanted to try something different. A clone who will be like me but would fit better on this planet.” Fit better on this planet? Why was his father speaking as if he wasn’t from earth?

But then Dib flipped to the next page and read, “I don’t want my clone to have to rely on any piece of machinery like I do.” Rely on machinery? Dib sighed, figuring perhaps he met the metal arms his father built himself after that shark attack. 

“I have finally done it,” Dib read as he turned the page. “I have successfully created the perfect clone. He appears human so that he will blend in with the others and he doesn't need any sort of machinery attached to him. I may have solved the small head issue with my clones a little too well perhaps but hopefully my clone will grow into it.”

Dib froze. What did his dad mean by saying this clone “appeared” human. Shouldn’t his clone be human if he was? And if his dad had succeeded, why had he never met this clone when he had been in his father’s lab many times?

Dib looked around, examining every corner. He saw no evidence of a clone. Dib looked down at that page and noticed the date was precisely the day he was born. Huh, that was a funny coincidence. He hadn’t expected his father to have time to create a clone and be there at his birth in the same day.

But just then a stack of photos slipped out from underneath the page and landed at his feet. Dib placed the folder back on the table and reached down. He picked up the photos and noticed each one read, “CLONE EXPERIMENT NUMBER 39” at the bottom. He flipped through him and noticed the boy in the photo had a strikingly similar resemblance to younger him. He even seemed to dress like him and wear the same glasses and were doing things that he remembered doing and…

Wait, Dib thought, unable to move as he held the photos. That ‘clone’ his father made _was_ him. Oh no. All these years and Dib never realized why his father never showed his face or showed him pictures of his past self. This is why his dad was so disappointed he wasn’t excited about real science and why he never supported him. His father made him to be just like him and yet he wasn't. 

Dib dropped the photos and they tumbled towards the floor. He placed his head in hands and felt tears forming in his eyes. His whole life, he had thought he just shared some of his father’s genetics but to know his very DNA was a duplicate, it disturbed him. He always felt ashamed that his father wouldn’t be proud of him because he would never be like him but to know that was exactly what he was designed to be? 

Dib heard footsteps in the distance growing louder and louder. He immediately recognized them to be his father’s but he wasn’t ready to face him. Not yet. 

Dib wiped away the tears and looked down at the folder. His father probably never intended for him to see this. And yet he had anyway. He wished he could go back in time before he ever picked up the folder and he could live in ignorance thinking he was just related to his father, not that he was him.

Professor Membrane opened the door and Dib quickly picked up the photos from the ground. Perhaps he could shove them away and pretend he never saw anything. 

“I still love you my son,” Dib heard Professor Membrane say. Dib turned towards his father, tears still in his eyes. 

“Do you?” Dib asked. “Or did you just make me so there could be another you?” 

“I know what you saw may have been a little shocking…,” Professor Membrane began.

“A little?” Dib said, his voice growing louder. “A little? I just found I’m a direct clone of you. I thought I could be my own person but I was wrong. I’m doomed to be just like you.” Dib look off into the distance.  
“You aren’t just like me. Even genetically you have a few mutations that I didn’t bother to fix because I wanted you to be different, even if it also means your head is uh, a little large. But I love you Dib and you will always be my son.” Professor Membrane placed a large hand on Dib but Dib quickly pulled away.

“I think I need some time to think,” Dib said as he turned to leave. Why did he have to find that folder in the first place? But would it truly be better to carry on and live with the lie that he wasn't just a clone?

Dib headed up the steps of the lab and stopped. He turned to his father and asked, “Gaz, is she a clone too?”

“Yes but her genes are bit more randomized,” Professor Membrane said. 

“And is this why you never spoke about mom? Because she never really existed, did she.” His father nodded. Dib continued to climb the steps and shut the door behind him.

Dib walked along the street for a while, trying to clear his head. He wondered if he should tell Gaz or if it would be perhaps far too upsetting for her. Though perhaps Gaz wouldn’t care as much, for she wasn’t a direct clone like his father said. And she was never made to feel like she was supposed to fill her father’s shoes. His dad didn’t seem to care that his sister cared more about video games than science and yet his father wanted him to be a mini version of him. It wasn't really fair.

“You didn’t even acknowledge my presence, Dib-stink,” he heard the familiar voice of Zim say. He turned and saw Zim standing there, his hand holding onto a leash that was attached to a rather slobbery Gir. 

“If you got some evil scheme can you save it for later?” Dib said. “I have a lot on my mind right now.”

“Eh?” Zim said as he approached him. “Even I, your worst nemesis, can’t laugh at you when you're this miserable. What is wrong with the Dib human?” Dib glanced at his old nemesis. It was funny how when they first met Zim was a little bit taller than him and now that Dib had grown far more than Zim did in the many years they known each other, he was the taller one.

Zim still wore his invader’s uniform, apparently seeing no need to blend in better, but he wore a sweater on top. It was his old sweater, Dib recognized. He didn’t mean to give it to him but he left it at his house by accident once and Zim refused to give it back.   
Zim had constantly teased him about how he was never getting his sweater back but he wasn’t sure why he thought he would care. Dib had soon outgrown that sweater and it fit Zim better anyway. 

“You wouldn’t understand, Zim, you’re an alien,” Dib said. “It’s just family stuff and you don’t even have a family.”

“Perhaps but I’ve been stuck on this filthy planet for eight years. I know of these earthen families.”

“You know of them but you don’t know them. Fine, if you really want to know I just found out I'm my dad’s clone and now I’m having a mental crisis over it because it means I was created to be just like my dad when I thought I was my own person.” Dib sighed deepily.

“That’s no big deal!” Zim waved his hand. “All irkens are clones after all.”

“That’s no big deal to you because you’ve known since you were a smeet! I just learned this today at twenty!” Dib groaned. “And it’s different when you’re human. Everyone else is born through natural means. Except me. And my sister.”

“When do you think you will be done with all this shmooping so you can come stop me?” 

“I don’t know, it’s going to be a while.” He stared at the sidewalk briefly before looking up. “Why do you even bother Zim? You discovered your mission was fake years ago and yet you keep trying in hopes that your Tallests will change their minds about you. Why don’t you ever just return home?”

Zim looked down at Gir who was chewing on his leash. “I haven’t finished my walk with Gir yet.”

“No! I don’t mean your base. I mean…” Dib pointed upwards. “Your home planet. Irk.”

Zim paused. “An Invader can’t just abandon his mission.”

“You aren’t even an Invader.” 

Zim bit his lip and looked away. “It’s not something you would understand.” He turned towards Dib. “And besides, perhaps I’d miss you Dib-stink.”

“And perhaps I’d miss you too, space bug.” Dib sighed. “It’s been eight years and you’re still the closest thing I have to a friend.” An alarm rang from inside Dib’s coat pocket. He pulled it out and glanced at his phone. “Time to go to work. I suppose I wouldn’t   
be working the night shift being a paranormal investigator if I only chose to do ‘real science’ like my dad.” Dib rolled his eyes. “Anyway, bye Zim.”

“Bye Dib.” Zim waved as Dib turned to leave.


	2. Oh Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am slap so much existential crisis into Dib you don't even know. Finding out he's a clone pffft, I am not going to stop there.

In the early hours of the morning, Dib plopped himself in the middle of his couch in his apartment. He pulled out his phone from his pocket, and scrolled through his contacts. Should he tell Gaz or should he not? He sighed, Gaz did have a right to know and perhaps she would be frustrated with him if she found out that he didn’t bother telling her the truth.

And so Dib sent a text to Gaz that read, “I was going through dad’s things and I think you ought to know what I found out.” He figured was probably asleep but then he saw those few dots at the bottom of his screen appear. It seemed as if Gaz, like him, had also become nocturnal. Though Dib wasn’t sure why, Gaz was in college studying for game design, while he had a very good reason: paranormal hunting was a night-time job. 

“Ugh, don’t tell me this is about Zim or one of your other stupid obsessions,” Gaz had sent him.

Dib sighed and typed back. “No, this is about us, Gaz. I found documents in dad’s lab, documents that prove that we’re our his clones and that we never had a mother.”

“Oh, guess that explains a lot.” Dib groaned. How was his sister so nonchalant?

“That’s all you have to say? Do you know what this means?”

“Why would I be surprised when dad has always been experimenting at us since we were babies. And yet he still hasn’t been able to make you any less annoying.” 

Dib stuffed his phone back into his pocket. It was true that he had been a guinea pig for a lot of his father’s experiments but he was also the subject of a lot of Zim’s experiments. He was used to it and he himself had conducted a lot of experimentation on paranormal beings that perhaps were a bit questionable ethic-wise. But this felt different.

Dib turned on the television and watched Mysterious Mysteries for a while. He glanced over at the cobwebs in the corner of the room, the coffee stains on the couch, and the scratches on the coffee table. He glanced at the unpaid bills underneath the empty cans of energy drinks. 

It didn’t make any sense to Dib. If he was truly his father’s clone why did he find real science so boring? Why was he so fascinated about paranormal science when his father found no interest in such things? His father always dismissed it as something foolish.

Perhaps, Dib wondered, there was something his father wasn’t telling him, that explained how they could be so different. Were those few mutations and living in a different environment really enough to explain it all?

But what scared Dib was that they weren’t actually different, for that meant there was a reason beyond disinterest that made his father dismiss paranormal science. And did that mean if he knew what his father knew, that he too would lose interest in the very thing that he felt was at the core of his identity? Without paranormal science what even was he?

Only a few days had passed before Dib was once again rummaging through his father’s lab. He wanted to avoid it all but it was itching at him to find out the truth. There had to be something his father wasn’t telling him.   
He tried to imagine himself raised in a different time period and in a different environment but he still couldn’t imagine not falling in love with paranormal science. Maybe his father didn’t get abducted as a baby like he did, maybe his father didn’t meet Bigfoot when he was five years old in line for the ferris wheel, maybe his father didn’t have a ghost ask him for directions to the grocery store when he was seven, and maybe his father didn’t get stung by a vampire bee when he was twelve that still made him crave honey. And his father certainly never had a short green alien that he had to spend the next eight years trying to stop from destroying his very planet. 

But the desire to discover the truth of what was really out there felt DNA deep. There was nothing that could quite explain the excitement he felt at the thought of making a new discovery about the paranormal world, just to know the world wasn’t as boring as everyone else believed to be. Real science sought out answers but paranormal science sought out questions. And that was what Dib wanted, to discover things that made him question. How could there be anything to take away that thrill? 

Dib bumped into a rather large bin as he made his way through the lab. He paused and glanced over at the bin. It was just a trash, he knew that, but then he realized it wasn’t just any trash that would be in there, but scientific trash. Whatever remnants of past experiments would be stashed away in that bin and there might just be something useful.

Dib popped the lid open and glanced at the mountain of garbage. It was mostly full of broken glass and metal but then he noticed something shiny in the very corner. It looked almost a bit familiar. He reached over and yanked it out. 

It was shaped a bit like an egg and was surprisingly light despite feeling like metal. He ran his hand across the cracked silver surface and over the three blue ports that felt more like glass. He popped open on the ports and discovered there were hundreds of wires running through the metal device.

He turned it over and noticed there were two thick tubes that extended from it, each ending with what looked like claws. There was something pink and crusty around the claws. Dib removed a piece of the crusty pink substance and glanced at it. He couldn’t tell what it was but it looked organic. 

Then it dawned on Dib that what he was holding looked a lot like Zim’s PAK. But it couldn’t be, because why would a piece of irken tech be stashed away and his father’s trash. His dad didn’t even believe in aliens, at least not any alien that could travel the vast universe to his home planet.

Dib placed the strange device on one of the tables in the lab. He reached for a flathead screwdriver and shoved it in the gap between the two metal plates. He thrusted until finally the top plate popped off. He could see the wires more clearly and how they had branches and intertwined with each other. They looked a bit like neurons he remembered studying about in skool. Many of them were frayed however but perhaps he could fix them. 

Dib attempted to place the top metal plate back on, but he quickly realized he probably broke it further. He sighed. 

He took out his phone and took a picture of the strange device before sending it to Zim. It wasn’t long before Zim replied back, “Where did you find an irken PAK?”

Dib shook his head. Zim must’ve been mistaken but if anyone could recognize a PAK wouldn’t it be him? But why would it be here, in his father’s lab of all places? He wondered if perhaps his father had just happened to find it, tried to fix it, failed, and threw it away? But if he had that meant an irken had come to his planet and died leaving only their PAK. And yet the only irkens beside Zim that had come to earth were Tak and Skoodge and they were still alive.  
Dib tried to think of all the possibilities but none of it was making sense. But then he remembered the notes on the clone experiment, how his father had mentioned his clone fitting better on this planet and appearing human. He remembered how the notes spoke on relying on machinery. He remembered what Zim had told him, all irkens were clones. Which meant they had the technology. 

Dib had shown his dad everything, bigfoot’s hair, the fang of a vampire, ghost pants, and he denied it all. But admittingly none of that was truly concrete proof. But he had shown him Tak’s ship! His father was once sent to space prison and helped him stop Zim from sending their entire planet through a giant a florpus hole! It was undeniable and yet his father still denied it! His father never once questioned the fact that Zim was green and had no nose or ears. 

But what if the reason his father had denied everything, not because he didn’t think it was true but because he didn’t want Dib to believe it was true. What if the reason his father had tried to discourage him from seeking the paranormal because he already knew the truth and didn’t want him to find out something his father didn’t think he was ready to know yet?

Dib shook his head. Oh no, no, no, no. He must’ve been crazy to even think it was possible. It was just a coincidence the PAK was hidden away in the trash. His father, he couldn’t be because if he was it meant he was…

Dib heard footsteps coming from upstairs. The door swung open and he knew it had to be his father. Dib wanted to move, to get rid of the PAK, to pretend he was never here, but he couldn’t. He was frozen in place and soon he would have to face his father.

“Dad,” Dib spoke, his voice faltering. “Is it true? Am I…” He paused, not wanting to say the words. “Am I an alien like Zim?”


	3. I am Excited about this Chapter and You Will Find Out Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have come providing an update in case any of you were on the edge of your seat but please don't fall off. Dib just found out about the truth but has requested to meet with Zim. Oh what will happen? Well I already know because I wrote it but you don't so go read.

A while later Dib sat in his apartment, staring at the ceiling. It had to be dream and yet if it was it would have to be a really long one. He kept staring at his hands, knowing that despite how human he appeared, deep down in his very cells there was alien DNA. He still had a million questions but he knew he couldn’t face his father yet. It was still all too much to realize that the truth was being kept hidden from him.

Perhaps in time Dib would understand everything, he figured. If his father was irken how did he get here? Why was he even here? And why was he just trying to live a normal life instead of destroying his planet like Zim was?  
A moment later the doorbell rang. He quickly answered it and there standing at the entrance was Zim.

“What’s this important thing you wished to discuss with me?” Zim asked.

“Let me go get it,” Dib said before heading towards his room. 

Zim groaned. “This place stinks of you.”

“Hey, this place doesn’t stink!”

“When is the last time you filthy human worm self showered?”

Dib paused and thought for a moment. “Uh well, uh…Anyway…” Dib disappeared behind his bedroom door and returned a moment later with the PAK in his hands. "Maybe you would be able to help me with this."

“Yes, you’ve shown me that. But why do you have an irken PAK?” Dib debated for a moment if he should tell Zim the truth. He wondered how he would respond, knowing they were technically the same species. Would he mock him or try to deny it because it meant they couldn’t really pretend they were so different. 

Dib slouched against the couch and lied, “I, uh, just happened to find it. Weird, huh?”

“Where did you find it?” Zim said as he sat next to Dib and leaned in. “Zim must know.”

“I, uh, don’t remember,” Dib said, panicking. 

Zim shoved his face towards Dib. “What are you hiding, Dib-stink.”

“I’m not hiding anything.” Dib leaned back, his face growing hot.

“I know you too well not to know when you’re lying.”

Dib took a deep breath and rushed through his words. “I found it in my dad’s lab because apparently he’s an irken and since I’m his clone, that means _I am too_.”

Zim remained silent for several moments and Dib could feel himself growing more tense just waiting for Zim’s reply.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re clearly too inferior to ever be an irken like myself,” Zim said. “You’re just a stinky human worm-beast.”

“I wish I was,” Dib said. “But it’s written in my DNA that I’m like you. You’ve done enough experiments on me. Certainly you must’ve noticed something.”

“I’ve done plenty of experiments with your DNA.” Zim waved his hand. 

“And was it entirely human?”

“I figured the samples were always getting contaminated with mine.”

Dib side-eyed Zim and groaned. “How many experiments have you done with my DNA?”

Zim placed a finger on his chin. “Thirty-six, no, thirty-seven.”

“Thirty-seven times, Zim! Thirty-seven! If you weren’t such a moron you could’ve told me by now of who I really am!”

Zim stood up from the couch. “Zim refuses to believe that you’re irken.” 

Dib folded his arms. “Refuse to or you just don’t want to? I want you to really look at my DNA again and see for yourself that the irken part of it doesn’t match with your DNA.” 

“Fine.” Zimn placed his hands on his hips and faced Dib. “I will re-examine your DNA just to prove that I’m right because I’m always right Dib.” Zim gave him a smug smile and turned to leave the apartment. Dib sighed and moved towards his room.

He sat at his desk and placed the PAK in front of him. He pulled the cover off and began fumbling with the wires. He sat there for a while, attempting to reverse engineer the PAK but just then the doorbell rang once again. 

Dib strolled over to the door and to his surprise it was once again Zim, except this time he seemed very unsure in his expression. Zim pushed Dib aside and turned towards him.

“Perhaps you were right Dib-stink,” Zim said. “When you stole my PAK and it tried to connect with you, it should’ve killed you. The PAK rarely attempts to connect with a non-irken host and none have ever survived.”

“Don’t worry Zim, as long as I don’t have a PAK, the irken part of me will never be activated,” Dib explained. “That’s what my dad told me. And you can pretend that I’m still human. Functionally, I am.”

“But if you were functionally irken,” Zim began. “Would you live as long as one?”

“I suppose, I wouldn’t know.” Dib looked up at him strangely. 

“And you don’t want to be irken?” Zim questioned.

“Well of course I don’t!” Dib furrowed his brows and folded his arms. “I lived far too long as a human and I’d like to stay that way. And why would I ever want to be a part of an evil species that conquers and exploits others.” Dib paused. “Well I suppose my current species already does some of that but you know what I mean!”

“We may be evil, yes, but there is far more complexity to irkens that you do not understand.”

“You’re right, I don’t understand.” He yawned. “I better go to bed. I think it’s time you returned home Zim. Good night.”

“Good night, Dib,” Zim said, not bothering to look at him as he turned to leave.

“Is there something wrong, Zim?” Dib asked.

“You misunderstand my species Dib and perhaps,” Zim said. “I am not bothered as I thought to learn you are like me.”

Dib stared at the floor briefly. “I just don’t understand how a whole species would want nothing more than galactic conquest. But we’ve known each other for years and you still haven’t told me much of your past. But I’d like to know, now that I realized that I’m...you know…”

“Irken,” Zim finished. “Perhaps when you aren’t so afraid of saying it, I will tell you about my ‘past’.” Zim left through the door.

Dib turned towards his room. Zim wasn’t going to understand the fear he had. He had lived his entire life knowing full well he was irken but for Dib, it was something he would have to get used to knowing. All of what he knew about irkens came from what   
he studied about Zim and he didn’t want to suddenly find himself in a body that he barely understood. But it didn’t really matter, Dib figured. He might as well be human since the irken part of him was never going to get activated as long as he avoided any stray PAKs.

Dib sat at his desk in his room and once again, resumed working on the PAK. He knew he should be sleeping, after all he told Zim he was, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the PAK. He felt a strange urge to fix it, though he wasn’t sure why. It was as if it was calling to him and he had to admit if he did fix the PAK there were many things he could learn from it. And didn’t he always want to learn everything he could about aliens, especially now when he was one?

Dib sighed and began working. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt just to make some progress. He assured himself he would be careful. He would make sure to keep the PAK a safe distance from himself at all times now that he knew what would happen if he got too close to one.

But it wasn’t long before Dib grew far too tired to keep working on the PAK and he decided to close his eyes just for a moment. 

Dib eventually awoke and turned towards his phone and noticed it was the very next day. He shook his head. Perhaps it was a mistake to keep working on the PAK until he passed out. He turned towards the PAK but it had completely vanished. He franctly started searching his entire desk, every drawer, underneath his bed, underneath his pillows, his closet, everywhere.

Dib groaned as he felt the soreness in his back. He sighed, regretting the fact he had fallen asleep in a chair. He reached towards his back to rub it when just then he quickly realized where the PAK had gone.

_Oh shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway this is why I was excited about this chapter. I love cliffhangers, don't you?


	4. Come Get Your Angst, Hot Out of the Oven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Dib was brilliant and decided to fix the one stray PAK and is in uh, a bit of a pickle. But perhaps Zim can help? Though it seems there might be a bit of conflicting thoughts towards the situation.

Dib grabbed onto the PAK, trying to forcibly remove it from his back. He yanked and yanked, but he could still feel the tubes on the underside of the PAK inside of him. He gritted his teeth, the pain growing in intensity now that he recognized it. He figured it had to subside at some point otherwise Zim would constantly be in pain. 

Dib reached for a screwdriver on his desk and tried jamming it in between his back and PAK but even that didn’t manage to dislodge it. He tried again with a fork but it only managed to bend the prongs. 

Dib’s heart was racing and pounding inside his chest, and he felt like he could run a marathon but instead here he was, stuck here unable to do anything. He had to remove the PAK, he told himself, before it was too late and those irken genes inside of him started getting activated, mutating his cells.

Dib glanced at his phone, and saw the notification indicating it was time for work. He shook his head. He hoped needing to remove a PAK forcibly stuck to oneself before turning into a member of an evil alien species was a good enough excuse. He would return the next day, that is if he hadn’t transformed fully and his coworkers started insisting on performing experiments on him. 

If he couldn’t remove the PAK maybe Zim could, Dib figured. He tossed on his trench coat to hide the PAK and ran out the door. He wondered how much time he had before the changes started to begin. 

Dib arrived at Zim’s front door and knocked. He shifted around impatiently and twiddled his thumbs waiting for an answer. Finally Zim opened the door and looked at him.

“What are you doing here Dib?” Zim said. “Don’t you have work?”

“I have something that needs to be done urgently and I think you can help me,” Dib said. “Can I come in?”

Zim took a step back and Dib entered. Dib removed his trench coat and showed the PAK attached to his back.

“Isn’t that the PAK you showed me earlier?” Zim said.

“Yes and I need it removed,” Dib said. “I’ve tried everything but it won’t come off!”

“I thought it was broken.”

“It was, but I, uh…” Dib looked away. “I might’ve tried to fix it.”

“You have insulted my intelligence many times and yet you attempted to fix the PAK? I thought you told me you didn’t want to be irken.”

“Okay, okay. Maybe it was stupid.” Dib paused. “It felt like it was calling to me. As if fixing this would be like fixing me somehow.”

Zim nodded. “It feels like it is a part of you?”

“Yeah.”

“Dib-stink, I believe you have found _your_ PAK.”

“My PAK? But my dad cloned me so I didn’t need one.” Dib moved towards Zim’s couch and sat down. He grabbed his head and suddenly a flood of memories of events he never experienced ran through him. The memories were of a dusty, very industrial planet. He saw irkens and he saw their battles and their leaders and it was all so much.

“Why do I have all these memories of war?” Dib asked.

Zim sat next to him. “You’re remembering our history. All irken PAKs are equipped with that knowledge.”

“Please don’t call it ‘our history’.” Dib groaned. “Just get it off of me.” Zim placed his hands around Dib’s back and pulled. “I already tried that.”

“I am afraid I am unable to help you, Dib,” Zim said. “PAKs are designed to be impossible to remove during the Encoding Phase and even if I could remove it PAKs are designed to reattach as soon as possible since irkens can only live ten minutes without one.”

“No! It can’t be impossible!” Dib stood up and started yanking harder and harder but no matter how hard he tried the PAK wouldn’t budge. He grasped his head and closed his eyes. He tried to clear his mind but it was no use, all of irken history was still running through his head.

Dib fell backwards against the floor. Tears swelled in his eyes. This couldn’t be happening, this couldn’t be happening. He wished he had never found the PAK and simply lived in ignorance. He hated the fact he was a clone but at least he had thought he was a human clone. It was only a matter of time before his body started changing without any of his control.

“Please Zim, you have to do something,” Dib said.

“I can’t,” Zim said. “I would if I could Dib. Is it really so awful to be like me?”

“How would you feel if you suddenly found out you were human and that you were going to start looking like one?” Dib questioned. “You’d hate it too.”

Zim sighed. “I will get you to my lab and see what I can do.” 

A moment later Dib laid against his stomach on a table while Zim attempted to use every tool he had to remove the PAK. He kept hoping he would feel it loosen, but it still felt firmly attached to him. 

Dib gripped the table and kept staring at his arms and hands. It felt as if a clock was ticking in his head but he didn’t know when it would reach zero. He felt afraid to look at himself and yet couldn’t stand the thought of looking away in case something started happening without him knowing.

“There has to be something you own that can get this PAK off of me!” Dib shouted.

“I’m working as quickly and as best as I can, Dib-stink!” Zim complained.

“I thought you didn’t even want me to be irken. And yet you seem to oddly embrace it now.”

“You wouldn’t understand Dib. I was amused at first at the ridiculousness, horrified when I found it was the truth, and now-” Zim cut himself off.

“And now?” Dib looked up at Zim.

“I thought it over.” Zim paused. “You’re the only other irken on earth besides me. It gets lonely around all these filthy humans.”

Dib rolled his eyes. “But you never seem to get lonely. If you were you would’ve visited Irk at some point.”

“It’s far too complicated for your mind to understand.”

“You keep saying that! ‘You wouldn’t understand.’ Maybe I would if you talked to me for once Zim!” Dib glared. “You can’t use the excuse that a human can’t comprehend your supposedly brilliant mind anymore.”

“Shut the mouth on your big fat head if you want me to remove your PAK.” Dib groaned. Figures Zim would avoid answering anything difficult. No matter how much older they grew seemed to change that fact.

“I have one more thing I can try. But it will be painful.” Zim picked up a rod that sparked at the tip from his set of tools. 

“I don’t care just get this thing-” And before he could finish Zim shoved the rod at the PAK and Dib could feel a bit of electric shock run through him. He gritted his teeth as he felt more and more electric shocks as Zim moved the rod around the PAK. Zim pulled the rod away and Dib sighed in relief.

“You could’ve given me more time to prepare,” Dib complained.

“Watch my brilliance,” Zim said as Dib felt a weight lift from his back and a strange sensation from inside of him. 

Zim pulled Dib’s PAK towards him. The tubes that had once inserted themselves into Dib were dripping with fresh blood. Dib smiled, knowing he was finally free and he no longer had to worry about turning irken. Zim had really done the impossible.

“Thank you, Zim, I- I can’t thank you enough,” Dib said. “I’ll try to avoid stray PAKs from now on and destroy this.”

“Yes, yes, you’re very welcome,” Zim said but his tone certainly didn’t say ‘you’re welcome’.

“What’s wrong Zim?” Dib asked.

“Nothing.”

“It can’t be nothing.” Dib shifted himself so he sat upright on the table. “I’m sorry I don’t exactly embrace being irken. I feel I should be human because that’s what I’m used to. If it helps, you know I’m not like the other humans. I don’t bully you anymore to be mean like the other humans, I bully you to give you an excuse to bully me back.”

Zim handed Dib the PAK. “Only you can get rid of this. It is dishonorable for an irken to destroy another’s PAK.” Dib nodded and reluctantly held the PAK, keeping it a safe distance from him. 

Dib noticed he was feeling rather lightheaded and weak. He figured it was because he had an entire metal device ripped out of him. He stood up for a moment but he quickly realized he could barely stand and he quickly collapsed to the floor of the lab. The PAK rolled away from his grasp until it landed facing upwards.

Zim pushed the PAK towards Dib and shook his head. “I’m sorry Dib.”

“What do you mean sorry?”

Zim pointed towards the PAK where numbers were glowing just above it. “That’s your life clock. The PAK has already encoded itself into you and if you don’t wear it, you’ll die.”

Dib stared up at Zim, wide-eyed. “No, you have to be wrong about this. It’s probably an error. It’s only doing this because for any other irken they would perish without a PAK.”

“You can’t even stand Dib. You’re already feeling the effects.”

“It’s just from the blood loss and pain.”

Zim picked up the PAK and showed Dib the one spot of pink blood. “That’s your blood. Irken blood.”

Dib stared at his hand in horror when he realized there was a patch of green skin that had formed. He swallowed. “I guess I have no choice. Put the PAK back on me.”

Zim nodded and placed the PAK on Dib’s back. Dib gritted his teeth as he felt the tubes reconnect into his organs. He felt his energy returning to him and for a moment he felt relieved but quickly remembered this wasn’t a moment of relief.

He messed up trying to fix the PAK and there was no turning back now. The clock in his head had finally reached zero and his own body was about to change before his very eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	5. Dib is NOT Having Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib has begun experiencing changes and he panics when he realizes he can't make them stop. Oh dear, that sounds scary. Poor Dib. I almost feel sorry for him except oh wait, I'm evil and was the one who wrote this.   
> But at least he got Zim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of gore/body horror up ahead

Make it stop. Just make it stop. Dib grasped his head with both hands and sat on the metal table in Zim’s lab. But his once brown skin was slowly turning green, a color no human would have.

Dib glanced up at Zim who stared at him blankly, frozen in place, as if he was unsure of what to do. He had never seen Zim in such a way but he supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. How does one react to someone experiencing intense terror that couldn’t be stopped.

“You don’t have to watch me, Zim,” Dib said. 

“Perhaps when I was younger I would left you to suffer but I can’t do that anymore,” Zim said.

“I know, you changed,” Dib said. “Well not in the way I currently am but you certainly have become more sympathetic and a little less self-centered. I didn’t really think it was possible once.”

“And so have you. You have thrown far less muffins at my head over the years.” Zim waved his hand.

Dib snickered. “It was funny seeing you overreact to a muffin.”

Zim glared at him. “Perhaps it was amusing to you Dib-stink, but not to Zim.”

Dib noticed an itch running through the middle of his face and noticed it felt rather numb. He reached up to scratch it only to notice something rather slimy against his fingers. He pulled his hand away in disgust and something fell from his face, and he could tell there was something missing.

Zim looked at Dib in disgust. “I prefer if you didn’t shed body parts in the middle of my lab.”

“I would love not to!” Dib said as he held a hand to where his nose was. “I need something to soak up the blood please.”

Zim left Dib momentarily and he sat there alone. He noticed he couldn’t feel anything in four of his fingers and he was growing numb in his ears. It would only be a moment before he lost those too. His body was slowly disposing of everything the irken DNA didn’t code for and it was making him feel sick to his stomach perhaps? He stared at his torso, unsure if the organs inside of him were still human or he had grown a squeedlyspooch just like Zim.

He felt disgusted every time he stared at his body, seeing it become twisted and mangled as he transformed. Watching it change felt far more disturbing to him that had he simply woken up in an irken body.

Zim returned holding several bandages and towels. He started gagging as he looked at Dib and turned away. “You look even more hideous than usual. How long will this last?”

“I wish I knew,” Dib said as he took the bandages and towels. He applied pressure to his face and his hands and bandaged them. 

He glanced at his bloodied hands. He no longer had any nails yet his fingers were still sharp. He could still feel pounding in his chest and despite the fear he felt he still couldn’t help but feel an odd fascination with his new hands. He wiggled his fingers, how truly bizarre it was to have irken hands.

Dib ran his hands through his hair but quickly found clumps of it stuck to his hand. He reached up to where his cowlick had always been but it was split into two and felt much thinner but denser. He ran his fingers across them and noticed how they twitched to his touch.

Dib pulled his hand away quickly in horror when he realized those were his antennae. It wasn’t enough to lose his signature single cowlick, he had to gain two strange alien extremities. He nervously licked his teeth and he could tell how sharp they had become.

Dib curled his legs toward him and grasped his knees. He wanted to run and hide but what was he supposed to do when the horror was happening with his own body? What cruel joke was it to have to remain there and watch everything happen and there was nothing he could do. The only way he could live was to let this happen to himself.

Maybe it was only a matter of time before this would happen. It was his fault that he fixed the one lone stray PAK but if he hadn’t, maybe another would come along. Or perhaps Zim would remove his PAK one day and he would get just a little too close to it. At least this way he could remain himself. Perhaps in another universe he would end up stuck with Zim’s PAK and who knew what atrocities he would end up committing with Zim in his brain.

Dib noticed something leaning against him and he turned to see Zim sitting next to him. Zim reached out and took his hand.

“What are you doing, Zim?” Dib asked.

“I believe humans have this custom where they hold hands when they are scared,” Zim said. 

Dib turned towards Zim, tears in his eyes. “I, uh, thank you Zim. Of all people I didn’t expect you to comfort me.”

“I told you irkens have more complexity than you claim,” Zim said. “We’re not simply evil.”

Dib looked at his hand in Zim’s. It felt strangely pleasant to hold his hand, as if he had always been secretly craving it. It was strange seeing just how similar their hands were now. Perhaps he misjudged irkens, at least a little. He didn’t feel all that different mentally, except for his new craving for something sweet, perhaps in a snackable form.

“I need something to distract myself until this is all over,” Dib said. “And why do I have sudden craving for snacks?”

“You could watch television upstairs perhaps?” Zim offered. “Gir can fetch us both something.” 

Dib nodded. Zim pulled his hand away but Dib soon reached to grab it once again. “It makes me feel better knowing at least I have someone with me.”

Zim looked up at Dib and squeezed Dib’s hand harder. “Perhaps I will maintain this human tradition for longer for you.” 

When Zim and Dib had made their way upstairs, they sat upon the couch and Zim turned on the television. Dib glanced at the screen and noticed the many streaming services.

“You really have everything don’t you?” Dib said. “You don’t even have a job. How do you pay for all this?”

“Gir is the one who owns them.”

“Then how does Gir pay for them? That makes even less sense.”

“I learned not to question Gir.”

Dib sighed. He flipped through the many streaming services until he found one that had Mysterious Mysteries. He played one of the episodes and tried to focus but he struggled to pay attention to anything when he knew at any moment he could experience another change. He felt too terrified to look at himself and yet he was a bit curious to know what he looked like. He picked up his phone and nearly opened the camera app but he put it aside. 

Gir returned with three bags of irken snacks and handed one to Zim and one to Dib. Gir sat beside them and opened up his bag just before shoveling the sugary powder straight into his mouth and ignoring the stick that came with it. 

Dib watched as Zim placed his stick into the bag and pulled it out before munching on it. He did the same but as he stuck out his tongue to taste it, he was horrified to see it had become purple and striped. 

Dib placed the bag aside, figuring he would have to consume it later. When Zim had finished his snack he once again reached over just before placing his hand on top of Dib's. Dib looked over, and smiled slightly. He wasn’t sure what he and Zim had. They were too close to be enemies but they weren’t exactly what one would expect friends to be. They had something truly unique, though it was hard to put into words.

Dib and Zim sat there watching the television for a while. Gir had long since got distracted by something else, leaving them alone. For a brief moment he wondered where minimoose was, but he remembered Zim had told him that he was still attending the Annual Knitting Convention.

It was just him and Zim while Zim comforted him, and something about it was making him nervous. He brushed it off, figuring it was just the changes that were happening within him that were making him feel this way. Dib couldn’t help but wish he could hold Zim, just to know he was really with him, but maybe that was too weird. 

Dib noticed just how much hair he had lost when he looked around him. He ran his hand across his head and noticed he was nearly bald now. He frowned for he rather liked his hair and he was going to miss that cowlick he had. It made him look unique. 

Dib swallowed and reached over to his phone and grabbed it. He paused for a moment and hesitantly opened the camera app. For a moment he didn’t recognize himself. The human part of him was nearly faded away and he looked almost entirely irken. He could see just how large his blue eyes were and the antennae that stuck out of his bald head. Perhaps he didn’t have to miss his cowlick too much, because the antennae he had were in the same shape. Dib pondered at that fact for it was a little strange, as if the cowlick he had wasn’t entirely a human trait.

“How will I ever go outside now when I look like this,” Dib said as he set his phone down.

“I could make you a brilliant disguise,” Zim offered.

“Brilliant?” Dib questioned. “Your disguise doesn’t even hide the fact you're green and don’t have any ears or a nose. Maybe my dad has some hologram technology or something.” Dib rested his chin on his hands.

“You doubt that I would have that technology?”

“Well if you had it wouldn’t you use it?”

“My younger self created my initial disguise and it was adequate enough to fool the earth monkeys.” Zim waved a hand. “Zim sees no point in changing something that already works.”

Dib side-eyed Zim. “But I was able to see through it.”

“But you’re not an earth monkey.”

“I was!” Dib threw his hand in the air. “Just hours ago I was.” Dib looked sullenly at the floor as he leaned against the couch. He wished it was a dream and that he would just wake up and everything would turn back to normal. He would spend his days attempting to stop Zim like usual when he wasn’t busy hunting the paranormal. But now he didn’t know if he could return back to work even if he did have a disguise because what if they found out? It was a funny concept he had to admit, a paranormal hunting the paranormal.

“Perhaps I can show you something about irken anatomy,” Zim said. “If I could touch the Dib.” 

“Sure, why not,” Dib said in a uncaring tone.

Dib pricked up when he felt a sensation running through his new antennae. It wasn’t painful, in fact just the opposite. He smiled a little, the sensation feeling rather pleasant, like a massage. It was as if every stroke he felt in his antennae made his body release chemicals that were telling his brain, yes I want more of this. He noticed a low vibration coming from within him, that he couldn’t quite control, and it was making a noise that sounded very familiar. He tried to stop it but it was like one trying to stop laughing when being tickled. And then his eyes widened at the realization that he was purring.

Dib looked over, and was taken aback when he realized Zim had been stroking his antennae. Zim immediately yanked his hands away and looked off into the distance. He started whistling and his cheeks had turned slightly pinkish green. 

“I, uh,” Dib began. “I, um.” He paused, lost for words. 

“Zim apologizes.” He stared at his hands and fiddled with his fingers.

“You don’t have to. I’m just, uh, surprised.” Dib froze. He admittingly enjoyed what Zim was doing, but his heart? Or maybe it was squeedlyspooch. But whatever it was, it was pounding and he could feel that his face had become flushed. He wasn’t sure what   
he was feeling, but it was filling up his entire being and the more he thought about the fact that Zim had been stroking his antennae just moments ago the more he felt it. A part of him wanted to ask Zim to continue and another part of him felt that the feeling he was having was far too strong for him to simply stay here.

“I got to go home,” Dib said.

“Without a disguise?” Zim asked.

Dib paused. He couldn’t bear the thought of the awkwardness he would have to endure to wait for Zim to finish his disguise but he also knew the danger of what would happen to him if the wrong person saw him undisguised. Dib took a deep breath and did the one logical thing to do.

Dib quickly pulled his coat over his head and ran out of the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm the one who wrote this but Dib taking a huge risk and running away because he can't handle his feelings is a mood.


	6. How to Fail at Family Bonding Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib finally works up the courage to find out the truth from his dad and is still battling his feelings for Zim. 
> 
> Dib has probably made a post on r/relationships that just reads "I (M20) am straight but I sometimes fantasize about kissing my enemy (M?)" and all the comments are just people facepalming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly NSFW moment but nothing happens.

Dib sat alone in the bathtub as he clutched his knees to his chest. He was still trying to adjust to the sensations he was feeling in his new body. His back still ached from the PAK that sat upon it and he hated staring at his green flesh. 

He took off glasses for a moment, but to his disappointment, his vision was just as blurry as it was before. Dib sighed. How was it that he was literally designed in a lab and had alien DNA yet still wasn’t able to see properly? 

Dib outstretched his legs and stared at them, his head preoccupied with thoughts of Zim. He always knew they had an odd relationship but the way he touched him was all too confusing. He wanted to believe that perhaps this was just what it was like for irkens to touch each other but this feeling wasn’t exactly new, he knew.

He remembered years ago, how they were wrestling with each other like they had always done and suddenly they got a little too close. Dib remembered how flustered he felt in that moment and how he quickly pushed Zim off and told him he didn’t want to wrestle anymore so they stopped. At the time he figured maybe it was just teenage hormones acting up, making him feel confused. The same teenage hormones that made him leave prom early when he caught sight of Zim in his half tux, half dress and thinking for the briefest of moments, _oh god, he’s handsome_.

But what if he couldn’t explain away those feelings? What if there was something more? He used to think that it didn’t matter how he felt, him and Zim would always be enemies, though admittedly they were the kind of enemies that people often mistook as friends. But could he use that excuse anymore? Could they really be enemies now that they were a lot more similar, at least biologically. 

Dib still didn’t want Zim to blow up earth or anything. He may not be the same species as the rest of earth’s inhabitants but these were still the people he had grown up with. But their relationship was still going to change because of this, Dib knew. He didn’t know exactly how, however. Despite all the horror he was dealing with, he was still looking forward to being able to learn more about Zim.

Dib slowly turned the knob on the bathtub, hoping to wash away all the blood that was still stuck to him. He may not have any control over anything else but at least he could make himself clean. 

When the bathtub filled up, he reached for the soap and started scrubbing. Every few seconds, the soap bar slipped from his claws and landed on the floor of the tub. Dib groaned, hoping he could adjust to having a few less fingers.

It seemed there wasn’t a single part of him left untouched by the transformation. Everything about him was irken, even _down there_. He was a bit curious to find out how it worked but he would have to save it for another day when his mind wasn't preoccupied with so many other things.

Dib turned off the water and stood up from the bathtub just before drying himself off and wrapping the towel around him. His phone buzzed for a moment and he glanced over to see it was a text from his father. 

Dib sighed. A part of him felt that he wasn’t ready to talk but another part of him felt he was too scared not to. His dad knew a lot more than he did about all of this and while Zim could help him adjust to being irken, only his dad could answer the question about why they were living on earth. It was strange to think, Dib thought, that there might’ve been some other universe where he could’ve been growing up on Irk.

Dib picked up his phone and scoffed when he read, ‘I hope you’re doing alright’. He felt like replying ‘Oh! I’m just doing just dandy! Except for the fact that I’m still trying to deal with the fact that I’m both a clone and irken, and now I have a PAK attached to me and I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror anymore.’ But instead he just sighed and typed, ‘I want to talk.’

Professor Membrane sat on the couch across the old television, the same television Dib remembered watching Mysterious Mysteries on growing up. He looked over at his father, trying to sort through all the questions he wanted to ask. He breathed in deeply, trying to calm himself. He knew anger would only distract him from finding the truth.

“So much for you wanting me to have a normal life,” Dib said. “Now that I look like this.”

“I told you what would happen if you found a stray PAK,” Professor Membrane said. “Why didn’t you destroy it?”

“I don’t know, it just called to me.” Dib looked away. “It is me, isn’t it? But why did you have this when I don’t need one?”

“It was only meant in case of an emergency. In the case I ever turned out wrong about you not needing a PAK, I wanted a back-up. I threw it away because you turned out fine and I didn’t want to risk you finding it.”

“I guess that didn’t really work. Since I clearly found it anyway.” Dib paused. “How did you build this?”

“I found it about to be recycled on Irk and I re-programmed it so it would be a direct duplicate of your current personality. I was careful to remove anything that would make you succumb to the rest of the hivemind.” 

Dib placed a hand on his PAK. “So technically I have some dead irken’s PAK?”

“Well, yes, technically, but none of that past irken remains besides all of irken knowledge I left in there. I wasn’t sure if I should remove it.” 

“But none of this explains why you’re here and not say, Irk.”

“I’ve only ever cared about science. I wanted true discovery, but the other irkens wanted me to do military research so I could help with galactic conquest. That is not my dream. My dream was to better society through technology and bioengineering. They blamed it on my defectiveness for my disinterest in galactic conquest and wanted to put me on trial so they could kill me. So I left Irk to the one place I knew they would never find me.”

Dib looked a bit nervous. “Are they still looking for you?”

“Perhaps, but they don’t care about this part of the universe. I believe they already found out about the name of the planet I’m on but that was many, many years ago and they were far too lazy to ever find out where earth is. And since they sent your little friend here in an attempt to get rid of him, I doubt they will ever come.”

Dib scratched his head. “So they only know about earth because you are on it? And they sent Zim here because they knew it was far away? And that would end up leading to Zim meeting your son, who would be me. Funny how things work out I guess.” Dib paused. “I would’ve never guessed you were defective. I can see it in Zim. He’s always lacked any common sense and he is far too self-absorbed, or at least he pretends to be. But you, you’re brilliant. And also tall which I guess is something irkens strive to be.”

“I may be brilliant and tall, yes, but I am capable of loving you, my son, and I love your sister. Irkens aren’t supposed to feel any love. And that’s how I’m defective.”

Dib stepped closer but he kept his gaze at the far wall. “And the love you’re capable of feeling, is that why you didn’t want to be a part of the galactic conquest?” He looked over at his father. 

“It’s hard to want to destroy something you feel sympathy for, yes.”

“If only Zim could’ve been like that. I know he’s defective but he’s still evil like the rest of them. I’ve been trying to stop him for years and he’s never run out of plans.”

“Your little friend is still young just like you. He hasn’t unlearn everything the irken empire has taught him. I don't believe he's as evil as you think he is and I’m sure he cares about you the same way you care about him.”

Dib was taken aback. “I didn’t say anything about me carrying about Zim or worried about him carrying about me.”

“I know you my son and I know how you really feel about Zim.”

Dib could feel himself grow a bit hot and flustered. “I don’t like Zim. We’re just...I don’t know what we are. Not quite enemies but not really friends either. Frenemies perhaps? No, that doesn’t sound quite right either.”

Professor Membrane chuckled. “It’s obvious even to me.”

Dib sighed and sat next to his father. “Have you ever been in love, dad?”

“The only love I’ve ever known is my love for science, and for you kids of course. But perhaps I can help you anyway.” Professor Membrane placed a large hand on Dib’s shoulder and Dib smiled a little.

“It’s just all so confusing. When I first met Zim, I hated him. I wanted nothing more than to expose him to prove to the world who he really was. I thought what I really wanted was just to stop Zim so I didn’t have to keep saving our world but then I grew up and learned that maybe I actually kind of enjoyed how routine it became. Zim would come up with his evil plan and I would try to stop him.” Dib paused and looked away briefly. “And I think, I think Zim was enjoying it too. He pretended that he wanted to get rid of me but I knew he didn’t really want that. He would be sad if I were gone. I learned that the brief moment I decided to seek out real science like you wanted me to and stopped trying to stop Zim.

“I don’t know dad. Why do I get nervous around him? Why do I always feel this thing deep within me every time we touch like I just want to do more of it?” He looked at his dad briefly. “Why do I kind of wish we could maybe, I don’t know, cuddle and perhaps hold hands. I kind of wonder what it might be like to kiss him too. Argh.” Dib placed his head in his hands. “Feelings are so confusing. What does this all mean?”

Professor Membrane stared at his son and said nothing for several moments. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Dib asked.

“Son, even I, who knows very little about romance, can see that you’re in love.” 

In love? Dib shook his head. He couldn’t be in love with Zim, could he? There had to be some other explanation but perhaps his dad was right. But what was he supposed to do with these feelings? Should he tell Zim? What if Zim didn’t feel the same way? What if Zim did feel the same way? How did love between two irkens even work anyway? 

Romance probably didn’t exist on Irk, Dib figured. Zim always seemed bewildered by the fact romance was a normal and expected part of human culture. Dib wondered if Zim was even interested in romance. He would respect him if that turned out to be true, of course, but he knew it would hurt a little knowing they could never be.

Dib sighed deeply. “Love is so confusing. But at least I’m still able to experience it despite being irken now. Guess that means I’m defective in their eyes too.”

“And why you must never let the other irkens find you. But as long as you stay here on earth you’re safe.”

Dib nodded. “I have to go but before I do-” Dib paused. “I want to see the real you. The irken you.”

Professor Membrane nodded and removed his goggles. The hologram vanished and Dib could see what his father truly looked like, green-skinned and blue eyed just like him. His antennae were in the shape of lighting bolts. He still wore his long coat that covered half of his face; some things just will forever remain a mystery Dib figured. But perhaps it was for the best because seeing what his father looked like underneath the coat would be like looking at his future self which sent chills through Dib just thinking about it.

Dib stood up and looked a little sullen. “I wish you had told me all of this sooner, about who we really are. I still don’t understand why you hid this. Why did you make me feel like I was a disappointment all these years so I wouldn’t ever find out about this?”

“I wanted you to feel like you belonged here on earth. It is a lonely experience being one of the few irkens on this planet. And I thought it would only hurt you to know when Zim came and you started calling him an ‘evil alien’."

Dib looked down at the floor momentarily, studying the carpet. “I would’ve rather just known then have to find out later. And it would’ve saved me a lot of hurt had you never denied my interest in the paranormal. I know you were thinking that you were ‘protecting’ me but it just hurt me, dad.” Dib headed towards the front door but his father quickly stopped him.

“Before you go, take this,” his dad said before slipping a chip into his PAK. “This will allow you to summon up your disguise. Just summon it with your mind just like you can with the rest of the features of the PAK.”

“I have only had a PAK for a couple of days. I don’t know how to use it!”

“Just try.” Dib sighed and tried his hardest to envision what he looked like before he became entirely irken. In an instant he was disguised as his usual self. 

“Thanks," Dib said. His father quickly hugged him before letting him leave. Dib opened the door and said quietly, “I don't know if I can forgive but I still love you, dad” and promptly left.

At least he had answers, Dib figured, even if he was still hurting from knowing his dad had been lying to him for years. He knew his father loved him, but it still didn’t change the fact that he felt like he had been wronged.

Dib quickened his pace, unsure of where he was headed. He wondered if he should return to his apartment but he didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. He hadn’t slept, but he didn’t really need to. He wondered if he should return to work now that he had his disguise but he would have to be careful. But at this moment he wasn’t sure he wanted to be around humans, for it would only remind him how he was no longer like them. 

Dib decided to head towards Zim house, the one place he oddly felt comfortable being. He hoped he could hide his feelings for he knew he wasn’t ready to tell Zim how he truly felt. He wanted to be held by him but it wasn’t time yet. 

When Dib arrived at the cul de sac Zim’s house resided at, he noticed a short squat figure dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and the most hideous crocs standing several feet away talking into what looked like a strange alien device. He spoke and his voice sounded oddly familiar but it wasn’t a voice he had heard often.

“This is Skoodge reporting in, my Tallests,” the figure said in a whisper. “I have yet to find this new irken. Perhaps it was just a simple glitch by the control brains. Irkens can’t just appear out of nowhere.” The figure looked up at Dib before glancing at his alien device. “I will have to report more on this later, my Tallests. There is a human nearby.” Skoodge pressed a button on his device and quickly left.

Dib froze in place. An irken that appears out of nowhere? Oh no, Dib realized. He was that irken that appeared out of nowhere. It seemed even staying on earth wasn’t entirely safe.


	7. Here have some emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib has finally found himself safe at Zim's house, at least for the time being. Zim tells Dib of his past life and things might just start getting a little gay. ;)

Dib cautiously approached Zim’s house, looking around him to ensure no one was watching. He knocked on the door and entered inside.

“I see you have a brand new disguise Dib-stink,” Zim said as he folded his arms. “That I didn’t make.”

“Yeah, my dad gave it to me,” Dib said. “So I can at least pretend to be a normal human.”

“I was going to make you a disguise before you rudely left. You should’ve been honored that I would make something for you Dib.”

“Sorry, I panicked that night.” Dib looked away, feeling his face become a bit flushed at the thought of Zim stroking his antennae. “It felt, weird, I guess.” He looked at Zim. “I don’t feel like you hate me like you use to but do you….ah….” Dib looked away. “Nevermind.”

“I don’t know how I feel about you Dib,” Zim admitted. “But it doesn’t matter.” He waved his hand. “What do you require of Zim?”

“I want to know about your past.” Dib sat on the couch and indicated for Zim to join him. “I want to understand Irk better. I know about past Irk thanks to all this knowledge in my PAK but what about current Irk?”

“You can remove your disguise, Dib, there is no reason for it in here.”

Dib’s hologram slowly vanished revealing his irken form underneath. “Maybe my human form isn’t perfect but I feel this one is even worse.”

“That’s not true. You’re c-” Zim stopped himself 

“I’m what?”

“You are not so horrible as you think you are as an irken.” Zim waved his hand. “Despite your abnormally large head, the other irkens, not me of course, might consider you ‘attractive’.”

“Huh?” Dib said, trying to force out words but he was speechless. Zim had never complimented his appearance before. Zim had called him ugly many times when they were young though he eventually stopped making any comment on how looked besides his head size as they grew older.

“Yes, yes, you feel overwhelmed that I, the mighty Zim would say anything positive about you,” Zim said. “Enough, I wish to tell you of my past.”

And so, Zim explained about the smeeteries and how they all received their PAKs just as they were born. He explained how as soon as they could talk they attended military training. He explained to him how even the toys they were given were meant to train them to better soldiers. He spoke of how they were trained to use weapons and fight in the future galactic war. He told him how even in the classrooms they were spending time learning about war and being told how every species in the universe was inferior to irkens, that it was for their own good to be under the irken control. 

Zim explained how he did so poorly on his exam to become an irken elite that he ended up doing the impossible and receiving a negative score. The control brains weren’t able to calculate his score and the error caused him to receive a score of 600 out of 60. 

Dib chuckled a little. “I often wondered how you became an Invader when it’s been years and you still haven’t done anything to earth.”

“I will succeed one day Dib and then you’ll be laughing,” Zim said. “I mean I’ll be laughing. Not you.” 

“Of course you will, bug boy,” Dib said.

“You’re also a bug boy now, Dib,” Zim reminded him. 

Dib sighed. “I suppose so.” Dib twiddled with his antennae. He really was just a giant space bug now. He supposed there were worse things one could be. 

Dib thought about everything Zim just told him about him growing up on Irk. He was lucky, he supposed, to have grown up on earth. It was strange to think that had he grown up with his own species that he would end up brainwashed and just another cog in the machine. Dib had once thought it was just innate for Irkens to be evil; that it was either hard encoded in their genes or hardwired deep within their PAKs to feel no empathy for anyone but themselves but still retaining an undying loyalty to an empire that only sought destruction. 

It definitely couldn’t be in their genes because Dib had yet to start to feel evil. It could be the PAK for his PAK wasn’t quite the same as the other irkens. But perhaps it was more complicated than just how their PAKs had encoded them. Dib was certain the PAK's programming probably had something to do with it, but it was also likely in how the irkens were raised. It came at no surprise that if one were to be told from the time they were born that their only value came from what they could do for the empire, they would stop at nothing to make sure the empire succeeded if only to feel like they mattered. Perhaps Zim wasn't so much 'evil' as he was brainwashed by a militaristic empire. 

“How did you become not an Invader though?” Dib asked. “I’ve wondered for years why the Tallests sent you on a fake mission ever since I discovered that to be true.” 

“The Tallests struggled to see the greatness I had,” Zim explained. “I’ve always known they hated me, I just hoped I could change their minds.” Zim looked away.

“You don’t have to talk about it if it hurts too much,” Dib asked.

“Don’t be silly, Zim does not feel hurt. I do not need anyone’s approval to know how great I am.” But despite the confidence Zim said those words, Dib didn’t entirely believe them.

“Maybe I’m the last person you would ever want to confide in but-,” Dib said. “I feel like you should probably confide in someone. And we’re aren’t so different anymore- and maybe to a certain extent we were similar even back when I was still mostly human.” Dib leaned a little towards Zim. “You can’t use the excuse ‘a human wouldn’t understand’ anymore.”

Zim looked up at him. “You may be irken now but I still doubt that you would be able to understand. You were never raised on Irk.”

“But have you spoken to another Irken about this then? You had Skoodge living in your basement for ages whom you could've spoken with.”

“Irkens don’t really discuss our ‘feelings’.”

“Maybe you should. It helps.” Dib leaned back. “Maybe I didn’t grow up like you did. But just like how you might feel like a disappointment to your Tallests, I felt like a disappointment to my dad.” 

Zim looked away from Dib. “You wanted to know why I never returned to Irk.” Zim paused. “You know I’m a defective. If I ever return they may try to put me back on trial. And perhaps…” Zim stared at the ceiling. “And although your education system is vastly inferior, I- I did finally feel appreciated for my abilities.”

“I admittingly admire your ability to build new technology,” Dib said. “You lack some sense...sometimes...or a lot...but despite that you really are brilliant.” Dib scooted closer. “And I'd probably be considered defective too by irken standards. So we have that in common.” 

Zim looked up at Dib. “You seem to be steadily approaching me, Dib-stink, why?”

“Oh, I uh-” Dib blushed a little and glanced at the floor briefly. “Hadn’t really noticed.”

There was a silence that clung to the air between them for a moment. 

“Do you still feel it?” Zim finally whispered. “Or has the PAK already begun to suppress it?”

“Feel what?” 

Zim struggled to speak until he was finally able to utter the word, “love”. 

Dib stared at him, dumbfounded. He had never thought Zim would ever say the world ‘love’ without a hint of disgust. “Yeah I do” was all Dib managed to say.

Zim leaned against Dib and said nothing. Dib felt bewildered at first, but eventually, he decided to wrap his arms around Zim and Zim gladly accepted the embrace.

“There is nothing wrong with being a defective,” Dib said. “It doesn’t matter what they think of you, or what they would think of me.” Dib clung onto Zim a bit tighter. “Let them be jealous that they’ll never experience love like we can.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and a familiar voice could be heard saying, “Oh hey Zim! It’s me, Skoodge! Do you think you could let me in? The Tallests just sent me on an important mission.”

At first Dib felt rather annoyed at Skoodge’s poor timing before the realization hit him that he was still wanted. Dib quickly activated his disguise.

Zim opened the door and gave Skoodge a perplexed look. “I thought you went back to Irk.”

“I did but I got an important mission here on earth,” Skoodge explained. “The control brains have detected a new irken suddenly appearing on this planet through the activation of a PAK. The signal is a bit fuzzy so we can only approximate where the irken might be. Have you seen anything, Zim?”

Dib bit his lip and tapped his fingers. He hoped Skoodge wouldn’t notice how nervous he was. 

“I’ve not seen any new irkens,” Zim lied. "I'm surprised they chose you for this very important mission. I thought the Tallests hated you."

"That's why they sent me," Skoodge explained. "You have a tendecy of injuring any nearby irkens so they rather send me." 

"Of course, the Tallests continue to have little faith in me."

“Ignore the Tallests. I still believe in you Zim."

"Thank you Skoodge."

"Anyone who seems suspicious of being an irken?” Skoodge asked as he leaned in closer.

“Nope.”

“Well alright. Have you managed to capture what’s his name, Dink?” Skoodge looked over at Dib briefly.

“His name is Dib and uh, yes, that is why he is here." There was a nervousness in Zim's voice. "And I’ve been performing horrible experiments on him. I better get back to my "placing a live octupus on a human's face" experiment." 

“Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt your very important experiment.” Skoodge nodded. “Just report to me if you see any suspicious irkens. They might even let you be an invader again if you impressed them by finding whoever this irken is.”

“I’ll be sure to let you know, now please leave, Skoodge. I have important thingies to do.” Zim waved his hands and indicated for Skoodge to leave.

Once Skoodge had left and was no longer in sight, Zim turned towards Dib. “I think I did quite a brilliant job leading him away.”

“Thanks Zim,” Dib said as he removed his disguise. “You wouldn’t turn me in even if it meant becoming an invader again?”

“I may want to impress my Tallests but without you what would be the point?”

“I just hope they don’t catch onto me.” Dib layed down on the couch and looked at all the wiring that hung from the ceiling. 

“You have me, Zim. No one can get past me.”

Dib sighed, feeling little urge to return home. “Do you mind if I stay here?”

Zim looked at him, perplexed. “I suppose you can stay. But why?”

Dib was silent for a moment. “I don’t really know why. I just need to be with someone who understands me right now and the only person who is like that is you.”

Zim approached him. “Just don’t get the couch too stinky.”

“It already smells like old nachos. I don’t think I could make it any worse bug boy.” Dib yawned. “Why do I feel sleepy? I haven’t needed it in a while.” 

“You must be low on PAK charge,” Zim explained. “One of the many things I hate about this planet, your food doesn’t quite produce as much energy as irken snacks which would allow us to keep fully charged. But when energy supplies are low the PAK is   
designed to force us to spend more time conserving energy. And the Tallests have long since cut off my supply of snacks.”

“So I still have to sleep?" Dib threw his arms. "Ugh, if I’m going to be an alien why can’t I at least get all the benefits?”

“You still need far less sleep than your previous inferior human form."

“That is true.”

Zim approached Dib and shoved himself in the small space that remained unoccupied by Dib. “Move over, Dib-stink.” Dib shifted over.

“You’ve been acting strange, Zim. We’ve never willingly hugged and now you’re wanting me to cuddle you.”

“And yet you haven’t pushed me away.”

Dib laid there as Zim shifted himself closer. Zim was right, he hadn’t denied him the opportunity. Dib slipped off his shoes and his coat so that he would at least be more comfortable.

“Wish I had brought another pair of pants. Jeans are awful to sleep in.”

“We’ve known each other since you were twelve. You can take them off.”

Dib looked a bit perplexed. “Are you sure you wouldn’t be uncomfortable with that?”

Zim nodded. “We’ve seen each other’s insides. This is nothing.”

Dib unbuttoned his pants leaving him in just a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Zim slipped off his boots, gloves, and his tunic leaving him in his body suit. Dib untaped his glasses and placed them aside just before pulling Zim closer. He wrapped his fingers around Zim’s hand and despite the horror he had once faced about his own body, he was starting to like the little things like how his hand fit perfectly in Zim’s. When Dib was human, Zim had always felt cold to the touch but now he felt pleasantly warm. 

Dib laid his coat on top of them. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being irken after all. It gave him something to have in common with Zim and maybe it helped Zim realize he wasn’t alone; that there was another irken out there that could feel the same love he could. Dib wondered what Zim was feeling about him deep down. Besides Zim, he really didn't have any friends and he didn't know if it was normal to simply cuddle and hold hands after having vulnerable conversations. He hoped Zim felt something more but perhaps he was just rather affectionate. 

Dib closed his eyes and a moment later he felt something curled up at his feet. He opened his eyes briefly and saw Gir at the very end somehow managing to fit himself in the tiny space that remained on the couch, his eyes closed. Dib was pretty sure robots didn’t need to sleep but he appreciated how adorable it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slaps Dib with a fish* HE LIKES YOU!


End file.
